Update,
3 weeks ago I changed front brake pads (never have done any brake work at all before now, 2hours for the fronts, 3 hours for the rears), rotors, new hardware, and new caliper bolts, noticed a nice improvement in over all stopping power, but still had the intermittent lack of emergency stopping,
last weekend, I changed out the rear drums, shoes, hardware, and both parking brake hardware
when I was doing the work, i noticed the star wheel adjuster on the one side, had a grove cut in the lever that hits the adjuster, thus you could turn the star wheel either direction with out pulling the lever, I believe this was most of the problem, but either way I am glad I have all new brakes/hardware
this last week has been great, the brakes are extremely grabbing and defiantly no problem stopping now, in fact, I normally drive another vehicle, but for the last 2 days i drove the jeep, then this Am was getting in my normal vehicle to go and see family with the kids, and after backing out of my driveway, the first stop sign I came to I thought i had no brakes, I drove a little more, got out and check the brake fluid thinking I had a problem
but it turns out that the new brakes on the jeep are so Great I thought my OK brakes were bad